I am the so-called resident expert. I can see into the future. I see a
bunch of super-hyper announcers yelling about the greatness of Tom Brady,
the improbable story of Jake Delhomme. He’s a fine Cajun. I see stupid ad
wars between Pepsi and some investment firm nobody cares about. Oh, and I
see a Carolina Panthers victory.

Whoa ho you say. Carolina? The same Panthers team that was 1-15 two years ago. Upsetting the mighty Patriots, winner of 14 straight games and
veterans to this so-called Super Bowl? Yes, yes I do. My reasons? I don’t
really have any; it’s merely a hunch.

And let me say that I like the Patriots. I have always rooted for the
Patriots. At least until they discarded Drew Bledsoe. Now, I root for
players. I have an echelon of teams that I root for (Cleveland, New
England, Philly, Indianapolis, San Diego, and Carolina). But my days of a
favorite team are most likely over. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Patriots
win, and the same can be said of Carolina.

I wouldn’t mind seeing Tom Brady fail though. He’s one of the players I
don’t root for. And whom will I be rooting for. None other than Rod “He
Hate Me” Smart. Who else could I root for? I like Jake Delhomme too, but no
doubt if he wins this thing, everybody will be hailing him as the new Tom
Brady. We just don’t need that.

So why will Carolina win? The way I see it, everything about these two
teams are even. Great defenses, featuring very very good defensive lines.
The Panthers may very well have the best front four in all of football.
Yip! The Pats ain’t too shabby either. Their secondaries are about even as
well. Both very dominating. But the reason Carolina will win is because
they will be able to control the clock with their running game. The Pats
have next to no running game. And, Tom Brady won’t have 8 years to get off
every pass like he did against the Colts. No my friends, he will be running
for his life. And running is something Tom Brady doesn’t do too well. Oh,
he’ll work his magic, but he will fall short in the end. Carolina wins in a
(yawn fest?) 17-14.

Other notes:

-You know, I really hate how the networks are crying about how this isn’t
the Super Bowl match up that they wanted. Boo-hoo. Let me tell them
something. “Hey, JerkFaces! Who cares about your ratings!? I don’t!” I
just want to see the best two teams duke it out. And that is what’s going
to happen. The networks will also bitch and moan in the end about how this
game is going to be a defensive struggle, and no one will want to watch
their game. Boo-Hoo. I like this style of football, and to me, this is more
exciting that any Run-and-Gun shoot-em-out game you’ll ever see. I mean,
come on guys, if you are going to be that way about it, why even bother with
the regular season? Or even the playoffs? How about we just say “Hmmm, the public really wants to see the N.Y. Giants vs. the Oakland Raiders this
year. Make it happen.” Riiiiiight.

-I won’t be watching any of the commercials this year. Ever since CBS banned the MoveOn.org commercial because it bashes “President” Bush, I have vowed to boycott the rest of the commercials. Maybe I’ll do what me and my good pal HIV did last year. Pop in a video of Beavis and Butthead during the commercials AND the God-awful halftime show. Who really wants to watch that? Oh, and CBS, you should take note from Fox News. It’s a dangerous thing to mix political interests with media relations. Then it’s called Propaganda.

-I'm going to use the Super Bowl as an excuse to do what I should be doing
anyway. Gathering with a bunch of good friends, eat some 'za (as in
piz-za), and drink some good brew. I suggest you do the same (well, maybe
not the brew part. This is after all, a family oriented website).

posted [01.29.04]