armchair cultural observation since 1995

Elsewhere: How to Kinkade a movie

As if it isn’t bad enough that a movie inspired by crazy rich Christian painter Thomas Kinkade even exists, Vanity Fair has obtained a memo allegedly written by the Painter of Light advising the filmmakers of how to best bring one of his pieces to life.

There are 16 guidelines included in the memo. The most important concept of all:

THE CONCEPT OF LOVE. Perhaps we could make large posters that simply say “Love this movie” and post them about. I pour a lot of love into each painting, and sense that our crew has a genuine affection for this project. This starts with Michael Campus as a Director who feels great love towards this project, and should filter down through the ranks. Remember: “Every scene is the best scene.”

Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage stars Peter O’Toole, Marcia Gay Harden and (WTH!!!) Chris Elliot. According to Vanity Fair, the film was “unceremoniously dumped to home video a year after its planned release.”

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