armchair cultural observation since 1995

A 25-year-old MJ obit

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Daniel Radosh dug up an incredible tabloid parody from 1984 that attempted to predict how the New York Post might cover a nuclear apocolypse. 

Fortunately, North Korea didn’t start a nuclear war yesterday, but the Post New York Post  “Michael Jackson and 80 million others die” obit is eerily on point:

For Michael, death was the worst blow to date in a life marred by tragedies ranging from blazing hair to fierce family squabbles over how best to extract every dime from his fabulous talent — all of which had caused him to retreat ever further into a childlike world filled with toys, games and persistent denials of homosexuality.

Ironically, Michael… may have realized he was living on borrowed time. ‘He was walking around knowing that at any moment a nuclear blast could take him out, yet he kept up a brave front for his fans,’ said Michael’s closest friend, the Post Post’s Lisa Robinson.

Now those fans, conservatively estimated to include everyone in the world still alive, struggled to cope with a loss of staggering proportions. In every country of the globe, rich and poor, celebrities and the insignificant alike joined together as one in an unprecedented orgy of weeping, so intense that in many areas flash floods resulted, killing thousands.

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